Hey, everyone, sorry it's been a while...I've been entangled
in multiple filmmaking projects. But, I got a bit of free time before I have to
go back to it.
I'm gonna talk about a state of mind that most people have
encountered in the downs of their life: cynicism. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, cynicism is defined as beliefs that people are
generally selfish and dishonest. Wikipedia reiterates much of the same in more
words: ...and attitude or state of mind characterized by a general distrust of
others' apparent motives believing that they are selfish in nature and/or
displaying that themselves.
Simply put: everyone's a selfish scumbag and there's no hope
for the human race. It's basically a sub-feeling of skepticism, which is a
general doubt in anything, be in people, philosophies or informational
accuracy.
I myself have had to deal with periods where I've become
cynical. There were days when I would just hate people and felt everyone was
out to get me and undermine me somehow. I would always get these feelings after
I felt someone special, like a best friend or a romantic interest, had hurt me
in a significant way, leaving me vulnerable to many negative feelings.
I can relate one such instance that happened recently. There's
a girl (who will remain unnamed) I was really good friends with. We had a close
friendship that was physical, in the sense of hugging each other and whatnot.
Me, being the young and naïve romantic that I am, I assumed her being overly
nice to me was a clear sign from God that she felt something for me. I had
never been in such a relationship with a girl before, which even to the most tried and true of romantics is understandable
as to why I felt this way, as a neophyte of sorts. I essentially followed my feelings instead of
following my common sense; I had followed these feelings before, and let's
just say neither instance ended well.
But let's face it, who wants to follow logic when you're
caught up in the belief that your significant other loves you just as much as you love them? I thought so.
So, I wanted to find out the truth myself, so I told her how
I felt and asked her about how she felt. She was quiet for a minute as she
thought about what she wanted to say. Simply put, she bat around the bush. She
claimed that she wasn't interested in anyone. But then a month comes
along...she finds herself a boyfriend in his mid-20s. And I found out in the
absolute worst way possible: seeing a picture of them cuddling on Facebook.
I would be a pathological liar if I told you I wasn't pissed
off. The broken heart, the sorrow, the rage-filled revenge fantasies...they
were all there. I felt like she had ripped my heart out and stomped on it; she
had ruined my life. And these were the feelings that triggered my bout with
cynicism. This was coupled with past events where I was confronted with
emotional pain, and it significantly brought down my opinion of people.
I felt everyone was selfish and using me for their own
gains, casting me aside when they've had enough. It took a week, but then logic
returned to my head. I asked myself, "Why do you keep focusing on this?
You've got the rest of your life ahead of you to do great things!" I
thought about what my purpose was; God had bigger plans in store for me, why
was I sitting here sulking? And so began the slow healing process, and I
eventually moved on from the instance. Today, I'm enjoying my studies and my
friends, new and old, and I've never been happier.
So, for those of you who are going through a cynical period,
here's something that I learned: continue to be trusting towards people. Give
them the benefit of the doubt. It might seem hard to believe, but there are a
ton of good people in this world. Some negative instances of the life I'm
living had seriously damaged my trust in people, but my trust in God is the one
that's always been unbreakable. And don't live a double life just to please
people who you want to like you; take it from a guy who did that all throughout
middle and high school. It's just a giant path that leads to many empty doors.
Continue to be who you were made to be; there are people who were made for you
as well, even if you might not see it in the short-term.
I've got a best friend of mine who's always happy and has a
positive outlook on life. I asked him a couple times, "Man, how do you do
it? How are you this happy?" His answer was simple: he didn't focus on the
bad in people. He always searched for the good. And he was still kind and
courteous to people, even if they were rude back. I think this is a great
lesson we all can learn.
I hope you enjoyed reading today's article. Have any of you
even faced cynicism in your lives? Share your stories in the comments and what
the outcome was. Have a blessed day.
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